Conscious Change Skill #25: Focus on Others' Strengths
About 70 years ago, my father delivered a talk titled "Whither the Negro?" It's an ironic question that still resonates today. We're still wrestling with many of the same issues regarding the future of Black Americans. While there’s been progress in civil rights, the key challenge of true inclusion—of truly integrating Black Americans in all areas of society—is still unresolved.
This core issue has now evolved under the banner of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), and today, the stakes feel ominous. It’s not just about winning legal battles or ticking boxes. It’s about deep, systemic inclusion that embraces changes to policies as well as hearts and minds.
Right now, friends, colleagues, and clients across various organizations are grappling with difficult decisions. The conversations often center on these questions:
1. Is the term “DEI” too controversial to keep?
Some argue that DEI has become too toxic and that its very name has been weaponized by critics. Should we abandon it, or keep it to signal our commitment to fairness, human dignity, equity, and good business?
2. If we drop DEI, what should we call it?
Alternatives like “Inclusive Practices” or “Culture and Belonging” have been floated, but the question is: does a new name avoid the baggage, or would a name change only be performative to satisfy detractors, while diverting our attention from the real work that needs to be done.
3. Can we maintain employee resource groups (ERGs) focused on specific demographics?
Many companies are facing legal and ethical challenges around ERGs that cater to specific groups. ERGs have formed to support Black employees, women, neurodivergent people, veterans, Latine employees, Asian American and Pacific Islanders (AAPI), breastfeeding mothers, millennials, and Christians with a conscience to name a few. The problem with retaining the programs as they are is that they may be deemed unconstitutional under some new interpretations of the law.
To offset this possibility, some organizations have opened these groups up to anyone who is committed to the cause, not just those directly represented by the group’s name. The trade-off is that people in some groups lose the feelings of safety they had in being supported by people who have direct experience of what they are going through.
4. How do we make DEI training more effective?
Part of the criticism against DEI training is that it is supposedly found to be ineffective, but that’s an oversimplification of the findings.
Multiple studies indicate that DEI training is most effective when it’s accompanied by systemic changes within the organization, when leadership participates alongside staff, and when it’s a long-term commitment rather than a one-shot deal (Dobbin & Kalev, 2016). Simply offering training without broader structural support may lead to frustration and skepticism, let alone inept application of the training, which can undermine the intent of the program.
5. Should DEI staff remain dedicated to DEI, or should they be integrated across the organization?
In places where DEI is politically contentious, some are feeling pressure to move DEI staff elsewhere in the organization. In some states, that decision has become made for them and DEI units are being dismantled. How do we continue to advocate for DEI when laws are shifting around us? How do we maintain accountability for the principles of diversity, equity, and inclusion when there is no accountability mechanism?
People are also telling me about their deeply personal decisions.
Here is a sample of questions I hear people asking themselves—and me:
I cannot overstate the consternation and outright despair I’m hearing—and sometimes feeling—around the country. Every day brings breaking news and additional reasons to be upset.
What can we do?
Over and over again, people are telling me that if ever there was an opportunity to use the Leading Consciously skills, this is the time. We’re in a rapidly changing situation where people have to make some life-altering, extremely heart-rending decisions. It’s far too easy for us to turn on one another, rather than skillfully help one another through this time.
The skill that I’m amplifying for myself is focus on strengths. We’re living in a cyclone of changes. The times may look scary and regressive. Yet, how do I know if this isn’t a situation where breakdowns lead to breakthroughs? Who am I to say whether this merchant should pull out their goods from a rollback company or that person had better leave well enough alone?
Above all, I hope that instead of criticizing each other’s decisions, we deliberately focus on the strengths we each bring to the table. Instead of dividing ourselves over different approaches, let’s try to unify our efforts. Whether you’re working inside the system, mobilizing from the outside, trying to preserve what’s been achieved, or just hanging onto your own peace of mind, each of these paths has its value.
The bottom line is this: We may want to move forward toward a world that works for everyone, but the way we get there matters.
We can rapidly burn ourselves out if we allow each twist and turn to constantly wear us out. There is a lot to stay in uproar about. But while we are at it, let’s also herald the trends in the right directions—the companies who remain committed to DEI, the national leader who declares they have no doubt that diversity is good for the nation and good for their business, the friend who is doing their best to foster a supportive team amidst continuous upheaval.
Let’s be kind to ourselves and to others. Let’s focus on what’s working, and amplify that, rather than spending all our time and depleting our emotional reserves focused on what looks increasingly broken.
This is a shifting landscape. The more we respect and support each other’s and our own strengths, the easier it will be to ride the roller-coaster of change.
