Sometimes we're just stuck. Here are examples

• Marty: Should I stay in my well-paying, comfortable job that offers little challenge or growth, or should I take a risk and apply for a position that aligns perfectly with my career goals, but pays less and the people there don’t seem to get along together as well as where I am now?

• Cris: After being together for nearly a decade, my partner Pat wants to get married, but I'm hesitant. We've been happy as a couple, and I worry marriage might change our dynamic. However, I can't imagine my life without Pat. If we don't get married, will it eventually drive us apart? 

• Alex: My aging parents just need more help. They haven’t asked me to move back home, but I can tell they would be glad if I did. This would mean leaving my current job that I love, uprooting my family, and potentially stalling my career. Should I prioritize my parents' needs and give up our lives here, or should I stay and try to be a remote caregiver even though no one can take care of them as well I can?  Either way, I would feel guilty. 

In today's fast-paced world, we're constantly bombarded with choices. From the moment we wake up to the time we go to bed, we're making decisions—what to wear, what to eat, how to respond to emails, which tasks to prioritize.

Several sources estimate that the average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day.  This constant decision-making can lead to a phenomenon known as decision fatigue.

The concept of "decision fatigue" occurs when people feel exhausted from having to make too many decisions in a short amount of time. It may show up as:

• Procrastination: Putting off the decision in hopes that the "right" choice will become obvious with time
• Deferring the decision to someone less equipped to make it
• Overthinking: Analyzing every possible outcome, often to the point of mental exhaustion.
• Seeking excessive input: Constantly asking others for their opinions, hoping someone else will make the decision for us.
• Impulsive decision-making -- making just any decision to move on.

Using Values Filters

There are tools to help. For decades, I have been using a decision-making tool to help myself and my clients logically work our way through tough decisions.¹

However, I recently learned about another powerful tool: values filters. MaryBeth Hyland described this approach in her book, Permission to Be Human: The Conscious Leader's Guide to Creating a Values-Driven Culture.² It not only simplifies decision-making but does so by ensuring that our final decision best aligns with our core principles.

Values filters are a set of questions derived from your core values, designed to guide decision-making. By filtering your choices through these questions, you can quickly assess whether a potential decision aligns with your – or your organization’s – core values.

But what exactly are values? Highland defines values as:

Since most of us would prefer to feel good than not, using values filters to sift through our choices makes sense. By providing a clear framework for decision-making, they can help reduce the mental load and emotional stress associated with tough choices. 

Breaking Free from Decision Paralysis

Values filters offer a way out of feeling stuck. You can gain clarity and confidence in your choices.

Here’s how:

1. Make a list of your 10 most cherished values.
2. Design yes/no questions based on those values. Make sure to design the questions so yes means a positive answer in favor of the value.
3. To proceed with a decision or action, you should receive affirmative answers to at least eight of these questions.

This approach combines conscious deliberation, informed analysis, and intuitive judgment to determine whether an opportunity is worth pursuing or should be declined.

How do you know if the opportunity should be declined?  Hyland recommends 8 yeses as the cut-off point.  If you get eight yeses, you know you will be able to enthusiastically move forward.

More graphically, Hyland described a catchphrase expressed by Mama Gena, a renowned author and founder of the School of Womanly Arts to decide which way to move forward: "If it's not a hell yes, then it's a f*** no!" (p. 137).

Case Example

Let’s walk through how Marty might use values filters when trying to decide whether to stay in the current job or to take a chance on a possible new job.

First, he generates a list of core values:

1. Personal Growth
2. Financial Stability
3. Work-Life Balance
4. Positive Work Environment
5. Career Fulfillment
6. Continuous Learning
7. Job Security
8. Professional Relationships
9. Alignment with Personal Values
10. Job Satisfaction

Next he frames them as yes/no questions with yes meaning the positive value will be upheld:

1. Will this new position challenge me to grow professionally? (Personal Growth)

2. Can I maintain my current lifestyle with the new salary? (Financial Stability)

3. Does the new job offer flexible hours or remote work options? (Work-Life Balance)

4. Will the work environment feel supportive or will I have opportunities to influence and improve it? (Positive Work Environment)

5. Does this role align more closely with my long-term career aspirations? (Career Fulfillment)

6. Will I learn new skills or gain expertise in my field? (Continuous Learning)

7. Is the company stable and growing, offering potential for long-term employment? (Job Security)

8. Are there opportunities to build meaningful professional relationships despite current team dynamics? (Professional Relationships)

9. Does the company's mission align with my personal beliefs and values? (Alignment with Personal Values)

10. Will I feel satisfied and fulfilled in this role, beyond just financial compensation? (Job Satisfaction)

With these ten questions, if Marty can answer "yes" to at least 8 out of them, it would indicate that applying for the new position aligns well with his values, making it a strong candidate for his next career move.

If he can’t get 8 yeses, perhaps he should stay put and wait for a better opportunity.

What Are the Advantages of Using Values Filters?

Implementing values filters is a strategic approach to decision-making that can transform how we navigate choices in both professional and personal spheres. By consistently aligning our decisions with our core values, we not only simplify the decision-making process but we also ensure that our actions consistently reflect our principles.

Remember, the goal isn't to make perfect decisions every time but rather to make choices that align with who we are and what we believe in. In doing so, we not only reduce decision fatigue but also create a life and work environment that feels genuine and fulfilling.